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  • Writer's pictureSmitha Shetty

Thriving while you navigate toxic relationships

We’ve all had them. A boss who plays favorites, a constantly critical parent, an abusive partner, siblings who you have to parent into adulthood- Whether you are at work or at home, a toxic relationships can suck the life out of you. All your energy is dedicated to achieve a semblance of normalcy amidst all the drama created by the negativity. They stop you from realizing your true potential.

It took years of meditation, multiple relationship coaching sessions and self-help books to finally get the clarity, the strength of character I needed to manage the toxic relationships in my life.

This is what I learnt:

Know your boundaries: A lot of us have been brought up in an environment where compromise and adjustments are considered a virtue and critical for keeping a relationship going. And I agree. They are important. But, what’s just as important is knowing and setting boundaries which you will not allow anybody to violate. The boundaries can be very wide, but know what your non-negotiables are-and don’t negotiate. Adjust and compromise-but if adjustments seem to be a life long commitment, give yourself the permission to ask yourself if you deserve better

You can say NO to anything-with compassion: We worry about saying no because we don’t want to hurt feelings, we want people to like us, we need their approval and probably the most difficult-we are trapped in unfavorable circumstances. And we hold it in, do things we don’t want to do, over and over. Until all the pent up emotion leaves us drained or we blow out. Either way is a losing proposition. Be self-aware when your preferred answer is no. Say a firm NO, with compassion and kindness and then walk away. What others feel about that is their problem. You protecting your boundaries will give them the strength to start protecting theirs’.

I got 99 problems. palsy is just one By Maysoon Zayid: I read this title and it was the Eureka moment for me! I did not even need to hear the rest of the talk. This Ted talk changed my life. The challenges that I had made the focus of my whole life, I minimized them after this talk. Filled my life with positivity, stopped making my problems the focus of my every moment. Listen to this talk if you take nothing else from this article. It’ll be the first step you take to a vibrant living.

Have clear boundaries, talk about them with compassion and when all else fails- minimize the problem with positivity. Amen to healthy relationships and a positive life

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